Defining Happiness

According to the Dictionary happiness is a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happiness is also defined as emotions experienced when in a state of well-being. It sounds so simple yet many of us struggle with searching for happiness and feel like it is an elusive butterfly always just out of our reach. From the beginning man has searched for the key to happiness.

Thomas Jefferson defined happiness as not being "pained in body or troubled in mind", and he  famously counted "the pursuit of Happiness" as an "unalienable right" in the Declaration of Independence. Benjamin Franklin stated "The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself".  Aristotle said "Happiness depends on ourselves",  Tolstoy said "If you want to be happy, be" and  Publilius Syrus stated "No man is happy who does not think himself so". So it seems that happiness seems to be something only we can attain for our self.  If we had enough wisdom, enough knowledge, or simply enough love, we could be happy in everything. Of course, all three of these qualities are found in want in us; we can only be happy when we choose to, so perhaps we just need to choose happiness more often.

Happiness is a personal experience. It is confined to the person and the moment to which it belongs. What makes you happy does not necessarily make others happy. We can let ourselves be happy, but we rarely do. Happiness is not lack of want; that is contentment. Happiness is not joy or pleasure. Happiness is not the absence of sadness or pain. If we were stumbling stupidly about in a dark room (which is pretty much what we're doing), happiness would be the shaft of light we let through the keyhole, not knowing enough to simply open the door.


Perhaps a good way to find happiness is to look at happy people and try to emulate some of their characteristics. truly happy people are different from anyone else. They seem to be gifted with some special trait that passed up the rest of humanity. The truly happy are vital, intelligent and healthier both mentally and physically. How is it that some people have this quality and others don't? The answer is simple. It's because they have simply chosen to be happy instead of constantly dwelling on negative thoughts. Happy people are in love with life. They are content and are thankful for what they have. They look forward to each day, knowing that something good is in store for them somehow. Happy people reach out to others. They obtain joy from helping other people. They are compassionate toward the needy and the underprivileged, giving whatever they can: time, resources, and sometimes, just their smile. They care and they demonstrate that through little acts of kindness. More importantly, happy people do not expect anything in return. Happy people are optimistic. They do not dwell on problems and past hurts. Instead, happy people strive to live each day to the fullest.

Finding inner happiness means letting go of old habits. The ability to forgive others is one of the most important survival skills you can cultivate. The most difficult aspect of this skill is forgiving yourself. It’s easy to forgive others because we rationalize on their behalf that they are just plain ignorant and don’t realize the impact of their behavior. Forgiving yourself isn’t as easy.

Why do we worry? We worry because of our own guilt playing up against our own higher-than-average standards. We worry because we think we don’t deserve happiness or God’s goodness to us. We don’t understand that he doesn’t see things the same way we do. He forgives us, so why can’t we forgive ourselves?

If a situation is meant to be, it’ll happen and nothing can keep it from happening. If it’s not meant to happen, it won’t. When things don’t go the way you would like them to, perhaps you are being spared a lot of misery and frustration in the long run. God knows what he’s doing! So "Don't worry, be happy".


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Learning to Relax     Declutter your life     What is Happiness     Reducing Stress     Building Your Self Esteem     Change     Divorce     Empty Nest Syndrome     Caregivers     Living with Pain     Color and Moods